Mood:  quizzical

So I've been meaning to write about the lunch I had with Jennifer awhile back and what she divulged to me about the Drew le' tor. I haven't written about it before now not because it's not simply fascinating, but more because I just haven't felt like writing. I get like that sometimes, where the words won't come as I want them to, so I just say "fuck it" and do something else.

Anyway, this lunch. It started out the same as any lunch I share with Jennifer, her grilling me about my life on Earth even though I thought I'd said everything there was to say. I guess she just doesn't get tired of hearing it. This time, though, I'd had enough of saying it, so I played the fair turnabout and asked her what was up with the Drew le' tor.

She blinked her huge blue eyes at me. "What?"

"Yeah," I said. "Tell me why you all are so fascinated with us. We can't be that much different than you, after all -- we breathe basically the same air, we all walk on two legs, etc."

"Oh, but you are so different!" Jennifer said. "Worlds different, even."

"Ha ha."

"I do mean it, though, even though I used the joke. In certain ways you are so different from us as to be nearly incomprehensible, and that's what we're interested in."

"Which ways are those, then?"

Jennifer hesitated. Her eyes traveled upward, searching. When they came back down, they stared at me with an intensity I'd never seen in her before.

"Not many of the humans have asked us these questions," she answered. "We feel that those who do are entitled to the answers." She sighed deeply. "Primarily, we are interested in your idea of 'soul.' We have come to theorize that this 'soul' is vastly different from our own concept of 'soul,' to the point that it is wreaking havoc on your society."

"The idea that we have souls is screwing up the human race?" I blinked at her.

"Indeed. Not the soul in general, but that you each have a soul. Every human being, while sharing quite similar traits, has something unique and indefinable about him or her, something that separates him or her from the rest of the species, something that creates in him or her a sense of individuality. We call this your 'soul' because your brains, on the whole, are also quite similar to each other, though different by experience. They have similar functionality. This 'soul,' on the other hand, is as singularly identifiable as your fingerprints.

"We don't understand the term in your religious sense, as something given to you by a conscious higher power -- "

"That's okay," I interrupted, "I don't understand it that way, either." Score one for the Godless!

Jennifer smiled. "But we do understand the term as something that makes each human a person, an individual, and it is this concept we are trying to understand."

"Why is it so hard to get, though?" I asked.

"We do not think, act, or even exist in these terms," she said. "We are not truly individuals, though we each have some sense of separateness. This is overridden by a sense of oneness, of connection to each other. We inhabit each other's minds, hearts, souls. We can never be truly separated from each other."

I didn't say anything for several minutes. Jennifer just sat there and chewed her food, letting me stew.

Finally, I said, "I was going to give a flip answer and say that some of us feel that we're all connected, too, but I don't think that's what you mean."

"No," said Jennifer. "You have an intellectual awareness of your connection to other humans, and many also have an emotional awareness of that connection, as well. Yet there is some tiny part of every human that seems to remain separate, untouched by anything else in the universe except that which created the separateness, and it is this that we are trying to understand.

"There is no part of what I am that cannot be accessed by any of my brethren at any time, even when I am asleep," she said. "My thoughts, feelings, everything is part of our joined consciousness, our joined soul. What I feel, so do others. What I know and learn, so do others, at the same instant as me. And we are connected through time as well as space. We retain all the memories of our ancestors, all of their stored knowledge, all of their remembered feelings."

"Christ," I said. "That sounds like overload."

"It is part of our evolutionary makeup that we are able to 'stem the tide,' to use one of your wonderful human phrases. Some cliches I still don't understand, but that one comes easily."

"It kinda sounds like a theory they have about Neanderthals," I said. "That they were very similar to this. They died out."

"There is something in the nature of human evolution that apparently demanded the kind of separation that you have," Jennifer nodded, "else you would not be here."

"So...this Oversoul thingie," I said, hesitating because I knew I was using words stolen from sci-fi books, "has it got a director?"

"I believe you are thinking that we are similar to an ant colony, and that our smaller brains are under the direction of a Queen?"

"Well, I wasn't going to go THAT far..."

Jennifer smiled again, a tiny smile. "There is no leader directing the paths of our thoughts and feelings, no. We have no leader of any kind, actually. We are a true collective, and perform as such. We are as individual as we allow ourselves to be, but we willingly submit to the 'Oversoul,' as you put it. Having no wish to harm our brethren to whom we are so connected, we do not stray from the collective. We cannot. To do so is to die."

"So no one's ever ripped himself from the Collective?"

"There has never been a need. You think as as a human -- you feel that some of us have a need for freedom of mind, of thought, that to share everything must be a terrible burden. But it is not so. Every bit of unrest or unhappiness or pain is shared with the whole, and in doing so, that pain is lessened."

I had to give myself a few more minutes of silence. When it seemed as if I wouldn't speak again, Jennifer cocked her head at me. "This is the enigma that is a human," she said. "I may be able to use an instrument to read your mind, hear your thoughts. I could use other means to read your emotions. You yourselves have crude instruments with which to perform these actions. But no matter how close I got, I could never reach the central most part of you, even if you wished it. 'We are each her own universe,' you have uttered in the past, according to your own recorded memory. We find that very accurate, and very sad."

"Why sad?"

"Because it must be so lonely."

Posted by Tiffany at 5:29 PM PDT

Updated: Tuesday, July 31, 2007 5:30 PM PDT

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I know it's been a few days since I last wrote. I think the problem is that, having discovered and sorta bonded with several people on board, I'm not around here very often to write. When one is on a spaceship, no matter how large it is, there is the eventuality of going a bit stir-crazy. That being said, we combat it by doing lots and lots of activities where we don't have to think about the fact that we're killing time, that we're not progressing with our lives in the normal sense, that we're all going through the incredible experience of being the ambassadors of our race and yet still basically bored out of our minds.

What are these activities, you ask? Well, for me, I like to keep it varied and somewhat spontaneous. Besides going to the Environ on occasion, I hang out with Justin in the gardens. I power-walk with Amy at the track (yes, there's a sort of track). I watch movies with Michael or some of the others on the newly discovered theater they put together for us. It's not like the Big Screens back home, but it works for smaller groups like us.

I've heard the others talk about their own activities, too, from trying to decipher alien texts (some of us are attempting to learn their language) to having loads and loads of sex. That last bit isn't me, as of yet...I'm not really sure why. It seems like it would be a great way to pass the time, but perhaps I'm still dealing with residual guilt issues.

Anyway, we do whatever we can. I myself am always roaming the ship, even though it feels as if I've already combed every inch of it.

I hang out with some of my alien friends, and we talk, or I talk and they listen, about my life back on Earth. Sometimes I get the feeling I'm being probed, but it's all in a good way.

We put together gatherings in one of the nearby social rooms (rather like a club, I guess) and get drunk, dance, try to forget.

I write. Mostly poetry, but I've been trying to work on my fiction too, get more confidence with it. I'm trying to find my stories.

We sleep.

We eat.

We dream odd dreams. Or maybe that's just me. Whenever I tell someone about one of my super odd dreams, that person shakes his/her head, says something like, "Dayum, your dreams are epic, Tiffany!" Apparently they're still dreaming about freeways and lunchboxes, I dunno. But then, my dreams were always strange, even back on Earth. The ones I could remember, anyway.

Posted by Tiffany at 1:29 PM PDT

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I was going to talk about a lunch I had with Jennifer, but first I wanted to relate this incredible dream I had this morning. I'm not sure what prompted it...perhaps it was all the episodes of the new Doctor Who I've been catching up on. (Did I mention that this ship has, uh, everything?)

Anyway, I know it featured someone in a wheelchair...perhaps an old student of mine? Then I found myself flying through space without a ship of any kind -- simply myself, hurtling through the open vacuum without any visible sign of locomotive assistance. And I came upon the most unique sight: a giant wheel-like thing rather just hanging in space, golden and massive. It wasn't a nebula, but more it was a collection of wormholes that radiated out from a curious white center (what happens when wormholes meet?). And a name came unbidden to my mind in looking at them: Time Spokes.

While I was looking there at the Time Spokes, the dream shifted and some strange man was explaining to a small group of interested folk that it was the Time Spokes that caused an asteroid to hit Earth oh so long ago, the one that killed all of humanity. Speaking of the future in the past, he also mentioned asteroids rocketing back through the Time Spokes to create devastation in other places.

There was more to the dream, but it was the Time Spokes that really caught my attention.

Just wanted to share.

Posted by Tiffany at 5:47 PM PDT

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Mood:  hug me

Okay, I admit it. I've put off telling the rest of this story because, well....it's somewhat embarrassing now. I mean, there are people who I am pretty sure don't read this blog and so would not be affected by it, but I'm afraid of posting things in case they do ever find it. Then there are people I'm sure read this blog who might possibly be hurt/offended by certain things posted.

The problem is thus: I don't know if we're ever coming back to Earth. And if we did, I don't know if Einstein's relativity crap would be in effect, and we'd come back a couple years older while the rest of humanity has aged 50 years or something. Everything is so up in the air. Since no one has given me any indication that we're going to return EVER, all I can do is live as if I've lost my family, my husband, forever.

That makes me single, right?

Anyway, I will relate the rest of this story, but hunny, if you're reading this...forgive me.

Ahem...so where were were? That's right. Gabe, Michael and I stuck in my room with two breathing gear units between the three of us. At around that point I had the crazy afraid idea that, if we were stuck there forever, we'd probably starve to death, so I went over to the Sludge Machine and started pressing buttons. As it started to ooze, I breathed a sigh of relief. I guess it's on an emergency system or something. I didn't actually want to eat, so I gave the resulting mass o' hardened goo to Gabe, who attacked it like a wild animal.

After that was what seemed like a very long period of sitting there in near-silence, occasionally uttering some comment but otherwise basically waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was seriously steeling myself for the moment when another asteroid would hit us and knock a hole through my apartment wall, sucking us all out into space. Morbid, right? But after the initial shaking and noise, we heard nothing. Nothing at all. I think that was worse than the noise, actually. Was the ship totally without power? Were we just floating in the Cosmos, drifting aimlessly with no hope of rescue or repair? Nobody was telling us anything, and I HATE that. I HATE being out of the loop.

Apparently Gabe felt the same way. After several hours (I don't know exactly how long, since I had stopped myself from looking at my watch every five minutes by taking it off and chucking it towards the bed), he stood up. "I'm going to go see what's going on." He looked pretty determined about it, hands on his hips and his jaw sticking out.

"That's a lot of gos and goings," I said. I think I was feeling a bit ridiculous at that point.

Michael was a little more sensible. "Man, who are you going to ask?"

"I'll find somebody," Gabe said. "I'll knock down the first alien I meet and get some answers."

"Yeah, and that's going to work so well," I said.

"You know what? Fuck you," he shot at me. "It's better than sitting here doing nothing, waiting for the ship to sink."

"Whatever, you go ahead and try to be helpful on an alien ship you know nothing about," I said. "Just by the way, fuck you back."

Normally I'm not so darn combative, but he just got my hackles up.

So Gabe stalked out. Well, he tried to stalk out, but the door wouldn't open for him. He had to wrench it open and THEN stalk out.

So it was me and Michael. We looked at each other, looked away. I had absolutely no idea what to say or do. That's about when it hit me that we really could die, and I so wasn't ready for that wave.

I sorta had a meltdown. It came slowly, but when it came, I couldn't really stop it. The tears, the shaking....good lord almighty, but I do hate crying in front of people. I think it threw Michael for a loop, too, and at first he tried to ignore it. But you can't really ignore something like that. So he scooted closer, said, "Hey, fuck him. He's being an asshole. They told us to stay put for good reason. If he wants to let himself get killed, whatever."

Through the stupid sobbing I managed to get out something like how it wasn't him. It was the whole situation, how we were probably going to die, how Jupiter is supposed to be my planet (I'm a Sagittarius, remember) and I wanted to see it, not let its asteroids kill me, how I wasn't ready to die, blah blah blah.

He put an arm around me. The stupid girly crying got worse. I mean, how cliche, right? For me to break down? But break down I did. SO embarrassing. It only got worse when, maybe to make me shut up, Michael tipped my head up and kissed me.

It worked.

This is the truly embarrassing part, that moment. I mean, what does one do with something like that. First some guy comes to my apartment and flirts with me while giving me Girly Time medicine, and then here's this other guy kissing me while we're in mortal danger. I suppose that's a normal human reaction, though, in times of crisis. People hook up. But anyway, there it is. This actually makes a third guy sitch, since there's a little bit of history between Justin and me, as well.

Oh my god....this blog had better not turn into a big ol' romantic/sexual madhouse.

I looked away from Michael, not sure what else to do. Then I had an idea. Tentatively I looked toward the ceiling. "One?"

"Yes?" One's mellifluous tenor answered immediately. I got a little thrill knowing that I was speaking to an entity who is ultimately a part of the ship.

"Um...can you tell us the ship's status?" Figured I'd give it a shot, you know?

"Currently we are powered down and in orbit around a large asteroid," One said. "Emergency systems are active. We are attempting repairs to the ship's engine and other critical systems. There have been three deaths and fifty-four injuries. We are running at approximately 10% efficiency. We --"

"Wow, okay!" I said, not unhappily. At least One would tell us what was going on! "Thank you."

"You are welcome. May I inquire as to your health? Readings indicate normal parameters, but..."

"We're fine, thanks. We just like to know what's going on. Thank you."

One didn't respond. I breathed, and I felt Michael breathe beside me. It felt good to have his arm around me, though I barely wanted to contemplate the whole kissing thing.

Then Michael said, "Gabe's gonna be pissed."

I giggled.

Needless to say, we're fine now. Nothing more happened to us (or with us) while we were in my room, but we did remain in physical contact until the lights came back on several hours later. During that time, we talked. And talked and talked and talked. Most of it was pretty boring, but it kept us occupied. And when we felt the whirr of the ship again, things got a little awkward.

But talk about a bonding experience. And hunny, if you are reading this, just again, forgive me. And forgive me any future, um, indiscretions, I'm begging you. I may never be able to come home. And shit happens, right? I'm just confused, still, about everything here. Lordy.

Posted by Tiffany at 7:37 PM PDT

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I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the notion that the meteors no longer come to us. We go to the meteors.

That was the plan, anyway, when the Drew le' tor decided (or they had already planned long ago) to visit the Main Asteroid Belt between Mars and Jupiter. Did you know that's what they called it? On Earth, anyway, yes. The Main Asteroid Belt. That's where most of our meteors come from, by the way.

Anyway, our alien captors hosts wanted to research the belt. Again. I think they did it when they first came our way, but this the last chance for more study. I didn't even know we had traveled past Mars, but I suppose it makes sense that an advanced species would build a ship that would travel faster than our own ships. It's a shame. I would have liked to see an actual closeup of the Red Planet.

Seeing as how they've already been through the belt once before, I think they figured they knew how to handle it. Still, they did take precautions. They let us all know what was going on, for one thing, and about possible dangers. It's the first time any of us got any kind of spaceship safety training.

Good thing.

At around 8:30pm on Sunday, I was sitting in my room watching The Shawshank Redemption with Gabe, Linda, and Michael, all of whom I've been happy to discover are huge movie whores like me. I actually invited them all over myself. I wasn't too worried about Gabe and Linda saying no, but I did have my doubts about Michael. His affirmative made me happy in all the right places. lol

So we were watching the flick, and out of nowhere came a huge noise that sounded like the universe being ripped open. Naturally, I figured that the ship was under attack. I had managed to completely forget about the asteroid belt, not to mention that the Drew le' tor have discovered absolutely no other sentient life in this part of the solar system but us. Still, overactive imaginations will out.

I admit to looking around with the wide eyes, but Linda actually screamed. The noise continued to reverberate throughout the room, and I found myself thinking rather oddly about the Titanic, how when the iceberg hit, how it actually scraped along the side of the ship. It was like that probably was, only ten times as loud. And the noise was raw, animal-like, claws ripping into the guts of a soft antelope or something.

Hey, at least I didn't panic.

I can't say the same of everyone else. As the noise continued, Linda got up about as fast as I've ever seen her move and bolted out the door. According to the directions the aliens gave us, if anything happened we were supposed to stay put until given further instructions. So when Linda ran out, I got all irrational and mad at her for breaking the rules. *eyeroll*

The noise continued, and then the ship began to shake. At first it was just a shudder, but it quickly became hardcore, motion-sick, batshit crazy shaking. Up and down, and just thinking about it makes me want my Dramamine.

Then the lights went out.

Pitch black for a few seconds, then the emergency lights came on. Gabe, Michael and I were lit up in soft blue, and coupled with the naturally blue interior, it became incredibly surreal. Then we heard a voice come into the room, masculine and gentle, heard despite the noise. Somehow, without ever really voicing it, I knew that this was the voice of One, one of the two articificially intelligent controllers of the Thesse' le'llon.

The voice said something like, "Please stay calm. The ship has been struck by an asteroid. We are attempting to repair the damage. Power has been relocated to critical ship functions. Again, please stay calm. Should life support be lost in your area, you will find emergency breathing gear and medical supplies in the cupboard above your bed. Please remove this equipment and prepare it for use. Thank you."

Okay, intelligent my ass. First he tells us to stay calm, and then he tells us to get out our breathing gear?!!?!

Anyway, his voice died, and the noise abated somewhat. The ship still shook, though. I managed to get to my feet and work my way to my bedroom cupboard where the supplies were, and I took out two sets of breathing gear -- all they give us per room. I brought everything to the living room, and I remember Gabe looking at me rather reproachfully...as if it was my fault that there were only two breathing units. I sat back down and we looked at each other.

(End Part 1)

Posted by Tiffany at 6:10 PM PDT

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Mood:  lucky

They've just now allowed us back online. I don't know for how long, if we're past the storm. As it is, I'm too tired to explain. I'm really just happy to be alive.

Assuming I'm still that way tomorrow, I'll give a full account then.

Posted by Tiffany at 9:48 PM PDT

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Mood:  sad

I woke up from an odd dream this morning. Someone was licking my lips.

I'm not sure who it was...all I remember is a shadow hanging over me, and the licking of the lips. It was slow, intense, as if the tongue (I hope it was a tongue) was trying to memorize every curve, every dip and fold. It never tried to go inside my mouth, though...just the lips.

I know it wasn't me. I woke up to tell whoever it was that it tickled, and not only was there no one there, but my lips were dry. Not UBER dry, just normal morning lips.

But in the dream, there was definite licking. And more than licking. It was more than sexual, more than physical. It's hard to explain, but while that shadow licked my lips, I felt so incredibly loved, so much so that when I woke up and realized no one was there, I became seriously depressed.

Still am, actually.

Posted by Tiffany at 6:28 AM PDT

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Mood:  irritated

The other day, Justin told me that he missed Earth. I honestly haven't had that happen to me. And it's not that I'm staving off the inevitable, either. I honestly don't miss Earth right now. I miss my husband like anything, especially at night. I wish he could've come with me. He of all people should've been able to come, since he's the one who's into UFOs and alien abductions and all. But it's not the same as missing Earth.

I don't miss all the stupid shit that people do. I don't miss having to deal with all the close-mindedness and negativity. I don't miss having to hear about all the political hoohah that AntiChrist President Bush is doing. I don't miss having to deal with the repercussions of the Pope telling the world (again) that Catholicism is the only true form of Christianity.

I don't miss the crap that I have to put up with my social life -- the tension, the juggling, the being careful not to step on toes in case someone gets offended and doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I don't miss have one-sided friendships, or caring so much for someone who doesn't return that care.

I don't miss trying to figure out who I am or where I'm going. As long as I'm here, this is where I am. I'm perfectly comfortable with that. I don't miss having to run around inside life's box while trying desperately to figure out how to take a vacation from it all. I don't miss the drudgery that accompanies my job.

There's no way I can miss all of the nature that Earth has because I can't miss what I've never seen. When I do miss something specific -- the Oregon coast, for example -- I do what I did when I was living in California. I imagine it. Or, if that's too hard, I use a contraption that Jennifer showed me during the tour, something called the Environ. It's a tall black cylinder that you step into and sit in. On the inside is a control panel where you can program the machine to "be" a certain place. It's pretty specific -- I can program it for Lincoln City, Oregon, and somehow I can even feel the kites as they float over the mouth of the "D" River. There are visuals, but it's something more. It's the spray of ocean water that mists throughout the machine. It's the combination of smells and sounds that are pumped into the box. It's not quite the Holodeck, but it gets the job done. I stayed in the Environ for hours once, until I got physically cold from being on the ocean and didn't miss it anymore.

So that's how I manage not to miss Earth. Am I being inordinately negative right now? Yes. Absolutely. I realize that. I'm grumpy. And there are days when I'm not grumpy and I can look at Earth's doings with a less judgmental eye. But even when that happens, I don't miss it. Not right now.

Posted by Tiffany at 7:23 PM PDT

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Mood:  smelly

Have I mentioned how much I'm ruled by my hormones? It's a sick, sad business, really. I never want to write ANYTHING when I'm having Girly Time, either because I'm in pain, or I'm generally irritable and punchy. Can I put in an order for a punching bag? Seriously?

But it's not as if I've been completely isolated these last few days. Jennifer relented from her "you absolutely must come and eat with us at least once a day" rule once I told her that I do NOT do well in groups during this time o' the month. Instead, she and I took a couple of walks around the ship, talking about Life, the Universe, and Everything. Fun times. She didn't divulge any state secrets or anything, but every time I talk with her, I get a little more insight into the Drew le' tor and how they operate.

Yes, I will share eventually. That post is going to take some thought.

Anyway, Jennifer wasn't the only visitor I had. Amy came over a couple times as well, and Justin showed up despite still getting over his own sickness to chill out with a flick.

And then, of all people, Nhlanhla came a'knockin' on my door. I haven't spoken with him much, partly because he's a little difficult to understand through his accent sometimes, and partly because he makes me nervous. Is it because I'm physically attracted to him? Probably. But that's not all of it, I'm sure. I mean, seriously. Wouldn't YOU be just a little nervous about someone you barely knew and met on an alien spaceship? I dunno. But whatever. The point is that when I opened my door and saw him standing there, all Nubian god-like and serious, wearing a cream-colored shirt that made his skin stand out even more to the point where I wanted to rip it off him, I died a little inside. It's not like I looked hideous at the time, but girls, you know how it is. That feeling. That "guh" feeling. That "oh jeebus, I don't need company, especially HaWt company" feeling. And yet, there he was.

But he was all business. After asking to be let in, he simply stood in the middle of the living room and looked around. Then, facing me, he handed me a small bag.

"This is African ginger tea," he said, his accent floating all over the room, covering me in a blanket of internal shivers (shiver me timbers!). "You use it to help with the menstrual cramps."

I took the bag gingerly (pun intended), and said to him, "And you know this how?"

"My mother," he said. "She was a medicine woman, though there seems to be less call for that in the modern world, or in this one. Still, she was greatly renowned in her trade."

I cradled the little bag in one hand. "But where did you get this? Did you bring it with you?" He nodded, and I held out the bag. "Oh, then I don't want to use it up if it's something you're going to need later. I can deal with this, seriously."

He shook his head. "There is no good in letting someone else suffer if they don't have to. You take it." And he gave me instructions on how to use the tea.

"Well, thank you," I told him. "And since I feel I owe you one, just lemme know if there's something I can do for you sometime."

At that, he smiled that gorgeous smile of his with the sparkly white teeth, and I got the distinct impression at that moment that that was what he'd been waiting for. "For right now," he said, "I just wish us to be friends. You are fragrant with interest."

Fragrant with interest? People, I am not making this up.

After he left, I practically flew down to the nearest kitchen to make me some ginger tea. And whaddaya know, the cramps completely died! If he'd been there, I surely would have kissed Nhlanhla for that. I'm sure he's also had some sort of "training" in his mother's trade, which, in my counting book, makes three of us (with Justin and I) with some sort of alternative bent.

In your face, Western medicine!

Posted by Tiffany at 6:25 PM PDT

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Amy came over to my place today. She wanted to apologize for yesterday's freakout. I think she thought I didn't show up to lunch today because she'd made me uncomfortable or something. Actually, I didn't show up because I'd started my Girly Time this morning and was dealing with the physical torture of cramps, but whatever.

I told her not to be concerned, even though she had made me a bit uncomfortable. It wasn't a discomfort that I couldn't deal with, though. I mean, it really didn't bug me all THAT much, seeing her break down like that. Who among us hasn't done that or won't do it eventually (I'm still kinda hoping I'll do it soon, you see, just to get it out of the way)?

Anyway, she stayed and we chatted about general stuff. She hadn't eaten lunch, either, so we had some sludgy macaroni and cheese (omigod, macaroni and cheese without the fat and carbs? Hallelujah!!!) and got onto a subject of interest to both of us: jewelry. Back home, she actually made her own jewelry. She didn't sell it at Ren faires or anything, just gave it away to friends, but it's still seriously cool. I never could get the hang of making jewelry, though I do love wearing it.

I honestly never thought that, of all the people I've met so far, Amy would be one I'd start bonding with first. But as I said before, she kinda makes it easy. I'm so glad she came over. Normally I make better friends with guys, but in this situation, where our futures are uncertain and there might be pressure put on us to, well... (I'm not even going to go there with my filthy brain), let's just say that being around the guys is making me more uncomfortable than anything Amy ever did. lol

Posted by Tiffany at 6:54 PM PDT

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